Well I’m looking for that perfect program. The right mix of strength, flexibility and endurance that would catapult me into the 5th dimension of fitness gods so I can wag my finger and feel superior to all you run of the mill fitness schlubs. Because in the end isn’t it all about being superior to your peers? Just kidding…sort of. There is no perfect program but in my mind I like to think there is. It keeps me in the game and perpetuates that eternal chase. Sadly the longer the chase goes on the older I get and no matter what I do or don’t do my body is slowly but surely inching towards death. Pretty inspiring isn’t it?
They say a healthy person contemplates his own demise and the role of death in general. It is the great equalizer. This past fall a very dear friend of mine passed away after a brief and devastating bout of ovarian cancer. All I kept thinking to myself was “Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” She went when it was her time but it was too soon for me. At her memorial service she had recorded her last words to those she loved. It was moving and my eyes still well up with tears thinking about the site of her in that video and how much love I have for her. In the video she gave us all this piece of advice. Don’t fret over the bullshit and remember that most of it is bullshit. Stop killing yourself searching for the right job, the right diet or agonizing over did I do this right or that right. Just live your life and love those that matter most to you.
I must admit that I fret a lot about the bullshit. Sometimes I just can’t help it. Despite what you may or may not think of me I have a lot of people counting on me. I have 4 kids of my own and also care for 2 nieces until their parents can get their shit together. I also have a sick mother that I care for and a wife. That’s 9 people eating off one check in case you’re counting. In real life am I actually a pretty quiet guy. Maybe this online stuff helps me to release some of my tension because in real life I am pretty easy going. For the most part I have stopped worrying about shit like bills, college and all this other middle class bullshit. It will all happen or it won’t. All I do is put one foot in front of the other and leave the rest in God’s hands. I am a good footwork guy. Have you ever noticed how shit works out one way or another and all your hand wringing had no effect either way? I gave up hand wringing. Fuck that shit.
OK so what does all this bullshit have to do with a blog supposedly devoted to health and fitness? I really don’t fucking know. I guess this might be a response to people asking me what my goals are and why I switch programs around so much or whatever. Honestly I don’t really give a shit about goals. Goals are hopelessly middle class. God laughs at your goals. I wake up and decide I’d like to do deadlifts or hit the heavy bag or do yoga and that’s what I do. I mean I am not getting paid for this shit. To me it is all recreational and good clean fun and it should be for you as well unless you’re an Olympic hopeful or some shit which I doubt you are. So fuck your charts, graphs, Vibrams, trainers, Paleo diets and all this other bullshit you don’t need. On second thought if all that douchiness brings you some happiness then go for it. In the end it’s all bullshit any way.
Also, as Tyler Durden pointed out, "Self improvement is masturbation."
ReplyDeleteAnd you are right - unless you are an Olympic contender or a pro athlete, it really doesn't matter that you do.
Like the new blog and the direction you've taken with it.