Monday, February 28, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Rant is going to be a bodybuilder
Since 1978 I have been training with weights on and off. Athletics of one sort of another had always been my primary objective so weight training was something I did off season usually in the summer. In retrospect I did a lot of things wrong. I put too much emphasis on my upper body thinking that my legs were “big enough” whatever that meant. I always did have tree trunks but the problem was they were never strong enough. I lifted pretty hard until I finished playing college football.
After college ball I dove into a bottle for awhile and when I pulled out of that I decided I really needed to get into shape. I started triathlon training and from 89-92. I did some races and even a half marathon. I even won a 10 mile race in my age division although there was a big marathon going on the same day the next city over. Still I won it which isn’t bad for a football player. If you saw me now you’d be hard pressed envisioning me crossing the finish line of a 10 mile race. Any way at that time I was in great condition and felt great. I wasn’t very strong but I could ride my bike 100 miles, run 15 no problem and I could swim 2 miles in a pool without stopping.
When I moved to the Orient I stopped the triathlon thing but kept jogging and on the weekend I would hike the many mountains in Japan and Korea. Saturdays and Sundays would you’d often find me doing 10-12 hour hikes. I think of all the exercise I did I loved this the most. For me it really helped clear my mind. After the Orient and some other travels I wound up in Oregon and had a 4 day a week job which allowed me to disappear in the MT Hood wilderness nearly every 3 day weekend for a about 2 years. I packed light and never used a tent or a sleeping bag. I’d buy 5 or 6 MREs from the surplus store and I’d be gold. Sometimes I’d just bring a big bag of trail mix and go on that for 3 days. I was always paranoid about attracting bears after one charged my camp while I was cooking fish.
Once I got into graduate school and teaching part time I was pretty much stuck in Portland so I started fighting again from about 95-98 when I got married. During all this time I had a few fits and spurt with weights. I always responded pretty fast to training but never liked the bulky feeling. But in 1998 I found myself bound to a desk job in Washington DC. I hated the humidity when jogging outside so I went back to a gym and started lifting. By this time the whole gym culture had changed. There were a lot more chicks in the gym and it seemed like every guy was a glove wearing douchebag. I hated it until I noticed a pudgy group of guys off in the corner who were powerlifting. I got in with these guys and started doing some powerlifting. I have stuck with the power movements ever since accept for a year and a half where I did nothing but Bikram’s Yoga and a brief foray into kettlebell lifting. I almost forgot the year I did Crossfit. I’ll call that the wasted year and leave it at that.
In 2010 I got back into the big three lifts and entered a PL meet this past December. I think I will jump into one more next month and after that I will be changing things up. Can you guess what I’m going to do next? Yeah…you got it…bodybuilding. You know all these years that I have dinked around with weights I have never tried bodybuilding. Of course I am not talking about competing with those little briefs and stuff that would be far too delightful for a “fo sho brother” like me. I mean that is simply never going to happen but I would like to see what would happen if I build off this powerlifting base. I would still do the big three but also arm exercises and all that shit. I would also do cardio or whatever else seemed appropriate. Honestly I have been thinking more along the lines of Mike Mentzer and his HIT stuff.
I don’t want to hear any bullshit about functional. I have been functional all my life and in a heart beat could bury some kettlebell or Crossfit fag’s head right through a brick wall. I’ll always be functional. I learned that the hard way not through some exercise routine. I’ll be 100% honest here. I’m a sick of looking like shit. After this next meet I am done powerlifting for at least a year. Now I won’t be going to a gym or anything like that. I will still train in my garage with barbells and dumbbells. I will have an arms day and I will train my abs. I will diet. I’m sick of looking puffed out and lumpy. If you don’t like the direction I am taking you can get in line to go fuck yourself. Rant is going to be a bodybuilder and will embrace his gay side to a certain extent.
After college ball I dove into a bottle for awhile and when I pulled out of that I decided I really needed to get into shape. I started triathlon training and from 89-92. I did some races and even a half marathon. I even won a 10 mile race in my age division although there was a big marathon going on the same day the next city over. Still I won it which isn’t bad for a football player. If you saw me now you’d be hard pressed envisioning me crossing the finish line of a 10 mile race. Any way at that time I was in great condition and felt great. I wasn’t very strong but I could ride my bike 100 miles, run 15 no problem and I could swim 2 miles in a pool without stopping.
When I moved to the Orient I stopped the triathlon thing but kept jogging and on the weekend I would hike the many mountains in Japan and Korea. Saturdays and Sundays would you’d often find me doing 10-12 hour hikes. I think of all the exercise I did I loved this the most. For me it really helped clear my mind. After the Orient and some other travels I wound up in Oregon and had a 4 day a week job which allowed me to disappear in the MT Hood wilderness nearly every 3 day weekend for a about 2 years. I packed light and never used a tent or a sleeping bag. I’d buy 5 or 6 MREs from the surplus store and I’d be gold. Sometimes I’d just bring a big bag of trail mix and go on that for 3 days. I was always paranoid about attracting bears after one charged my camp while I was cooking fish.
Once I got into graduate school and teaching part time I was pretty much stuck in Portland so I started fighting again from about 95-98 when I got married. During all this time I had a few fits and spurt with weights. I always responded pretty fast to training but never liked the bulky feeling. But in 1998 I found myself bound to a desk job in Washington DC. I hated the humidity when jogging outside so I went back to a gym and started lifting. By this time the whole gym culture had changed. There were a lot more chicks in the gym and it seemed like every guy was a glove wearing douchebag. I hated it until I noticed a pudgy group of guys off in the corner who were powerlifting. I got in with these guys and started doing some powerlifting. I have stuck with the power movements ever since accept for a year and a half where I did nothing but Bikram’s Yoga and a brief foray into kettlebell lifting. I almost forgot the year I did Crossfit. I’ll call that the wasted year and leave it at that.
In 2010 I got back into the big three lifts and entered a PL meet this past December. I think I will jump into one more next month and after that I will be changing things up. Can you guess what I’m going to do next? Yeah…you got it…bodybuilding. You know all these years that I have dinked around with weights I have never tried bodybuilding. Of course I am not talking about competing with those little briefs and stuff that would be far too delightful for a “fo sho brother” like me. I mean that is simply never going to happen but I would like to see what would happen if I build off this powerlifting base. I would still do the big three but also arm exercises and all that shit. I would also do cardio or whatever else seemed appropriate. Honestly I have been thinking more along the lines of Mike Mentzer and his HIT stuff.
I don’t want to hear any bullshit about functional. I have been functional all my life and in a heart beat could bury some kettlebell or Crossfit fag’s head right through a brick wall. I’ll always be functional. I learned that the hard way not through some exercise routine. I’ll be 100% honest here. I’m a sick of looking like shit. After this next meet I am done powerlifting for at least a year. Now I won’t be going to a gym or anything like that. I will still train in my garage with barbells and dumbbells. I will have an arms day and I will train my abs. I will diet. I’m sick of looking puffed out and lumpy. If you don’t like the direction I am taking you can get in line to go fuck yourself. Rant is going to be a bodybuilder and will embrace his gay side to a certain extent.
Friday, February 18, 2011
So what the hell am I doing?
Well I’m looking for that perfect program. The right mix of strength, flexibility and endurance that would catapult me into the 5th dimension of fitness gods so I can wag my finger and feel superior to all you run of the mill fitness schlubs. Because in the end isn’t it all about being superior to your peers? Just kidding…sort of. There is no perfect program but in my mind I like to think there is. It keeps me in the game and perpetuates that eternal chase. Sadly the longer the chase goes on the older I get and no matter what I do or don’t do my body is slowly but surely inching towards death. Pretty inspiring isn’t it?
They say a healthy person contemplates his own demise and the role of death in general. It is the great equalizer. This past fall a very dear friend of mine passed away after a brief and devastating bout of ovarian cancer. All I kept thinking to myself was “Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” She went when it was her time but it was too soon for me. At her memorial service she had recorded her last words to those she loved. It was moving and my eyes still well up with tears thinking about the site of her in that video and how much love I have for her. In the video she gave us all this piece of advice. Don’t fret over the bullshit and remember that most of it is bullshit. Stop killing yourself searching for the right job, the right diet or agonizing over did I do this right or that right. Just live your life and love those that matter most to you.
I must admit that I fret a lot about the bullshit. Sometimes I just can’t help it. Despite what you may or may not think of me I have a lot of people counting on me. I have 4 kids of my own and also care for 2 nieces until their parents can get their shit together. I also have a sick mother that I care for and a wife. That’s 9 people eating off one check in case you’re counting. In real life am I actually a pretty quiet guy. Maybe this online stuff helps me to release some of my tension because in real life I am pretty easy going. For the most part I have stopped worrying about shit like bills, college and all this other middle class bullshit. It will all happen or it won’t. All I do is put one foot in front of the other and leave the rest in God’s hands. I am a good footwork guy. Have you ever noticed how shit works out one way or another and all your hand wringing had no effect either way? I gave up hand wringing. Fuck that shit.
OK so what does all this bullshit have to do with a blog supposedly devoted to health and fitness? I really don’t fucking know. I guess this might be a response to people asking me what my goals are and why I switch programs around so much or whatever. Honestly I don’t really give a shit about goals. Goals are hopelessly middle class. God laughs at your goals. I wake up and decide I’d like to do deadlifts or hit the heavy bag or do yoga and that’s what I do. I mean I am not getting paid for this shit. To me it is all recreational and good clean fun and it should be for you as well unless you’re an Olympic hopeful or some shit which I doubt you are. So fuck your charts, graphs, Vibrams, trainers, Paleo diets and all this other bullshit you don’t need. On second thought if all that douchiness brings you some happiness then go for it. In the end it’s all bullshit any way.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
What the fuck it wrong with Powerlifting USA?
Generally speaking I like the periodical Powerlifting USA. In a sense it’s the only show in town but I still enjoy reading it every month. One of the interviewers is a bit of a sanctimonious cunt with all his Bush bashing and pro drug bullshit and there is a Westside bent to the publication but I suppose there is a certain amount of preaching to the choir going on. I have no interest in Westside stuff right now because I don’t ingest massive amount of drugs to enhance my performance…oops… I meant to say “restoratives”. I also don’t consider waddling around like some circus side show freak crammed into a squat suit that could snugly fit Twiggy in her heyday as lifting. I don’t want to go too far down this road. I'll save my distaste for Westside for another day.
Here’s my main gripe with PL USA
Of course they have my money for a year so I’m stuck chasing them down every month. What customer service! Or maybe I should say: What customer service? Or should that be: What? Customer service? I mean really people is it that difficult. At the begining of each month put Rant’s address on the new issue, lick a stamp and place the motherfucker in the GD mail box. Is this really that difficult? Geez.
Let’s go on with the show!
Wow has there been a lot of drama lately. Those dudes over at IGX are some first rate drama queens and downright homos. Let me just clarify because those girls over at IGX have gotten hysterical over this whole mess. It all started when someone over at IGX either Shaf, SAR or Mario decided to fuck with my rights to IGX. I went round and round with the mods over reestablishing my password only to get fucked with over and over. I even had to resort to sock puppets which I have never done but sooner or later they would find me and the banning would start all over again. Then when I was let back in I gave them all a piece of my mind couple with some pretty killer posts at the now defunct Moynihan Institute. The got some dirt all riled up to the point of hacking my site and destroying all my files. There is no shortage of internet tough guys.
But none of this had had any effect on me or my mission. I starting new here at The World According to Rant and I hope to be doing this for the next 100 years in the straight forward fashion I always have. I promise to stop talking all this shit about IGX and hackers. They don’t concern me in the least anymore. I have much bigger fish to fry.
As I may have mention a while back I am planning on lifting in a national AAU powerlifting meet this May. I have been conditioning myself by doing primarily Don Blue 10x10 workouts with excellent results. I feel as resilient and strong as ever and I am not dicking around with all these prehab/rehab rituals or subscribing to any outlandish and radical diets like Paleo, The Zone or any other such lunatic fringe practices. For me it’s simply meat and potatoes and lots and lots of work under the barbell. I walk back and forth to work 20 minutes each way 5 days a week and that takes care of any sort of additional conditioning I may need. I steam on Saturday afternoons and I make an appointment for a rub at the rub school once a month. I can no longer bring myself to use the word massage with its gay overtones and Frechness. Fuck the French.
At this point I am 12 weeks out from my meet. I am strongly considering doing 2 cycles of Jim Wendler’s 5/3/1. I have always championed this routine and if all goes well with my results this could really put Wendler on the map. I don’t like many fitness celebrities but when I do endorse one their popularity seems to go through the roof. Case in point would be Dan John. I’m not saying that I discovered him but you have to admit that when the Moynihan Institute endorsed him it nothing but Dan John this and Dan John that all over the internet. So Jim Wendler if you do read this blog you might want to see how this works out.
Conversely I ruined careers of those I deem to be charlatans and nut jobs. I was given a modified Russian Squat routine of master’s lifter by a trainer that shall remain nameless. His program sucked and my squat actually went down. His career has all been down hill since. Coincidence? I-don't-think-so.
I am still happy to report that I am not using kettlebells, club bells, shake weights, the gazelle or any other gay gimmick and gadget that has come down the pike over the last decade and rubber bands and chains and that sort of stuff has never appealed to me. It’s too messy and complicated for me. I just want to get under the iron, get some work done and have some fun.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Only the begining
Welcome to The World According To Rant. I am Rant and I ran the now defunct Moynihan Institute for 11 years. All good things must come to an end and a hacker expedited things for me. Since my site was so easily hacked I ended my service with freeserver.com. They really dropped the ball on this but what the hell I was paying a lot of money to them and to keep my domain name. I don't need that anymore. The Moynihan Institute started was back in 2000 around March 17.
I shared the site with another cat that is now a Mormon and we had a stable of writers that wrote hard edged political and social commentary. It was fun stuff and we got into all kinds of trouble with lawsuits and hackers and other anti free speech groups that passed themselves off as civil rights groups or morality groups. We had a lot of fun but we started spiraling out of control with the one-upmanship that simply led to hate. My partner became a Mormon and the other guys burnt out on writing and I was left holding the ball. I started to realize that my core group of readers was primarily military, cops, skin heads and KKK types. Shades of gray my friends. Shades of gray.
At this point I decide to switch the format of the Moynihan Institute over to a site focused primarily on health and fitness from the perspective of a regular guy not looking to sell anybody anything and not invested in any methods or modalities. I plan on keeping this up and being as frank and forthright as I have always been but I would like to break free of all the baggage associated with the Moynihan Institute. I will also talk about other issues that strike my fancy. I have got some plans to change things up a bit as well. This has always been a method of amusing myself. I have never cared what anyone thought of what I had to say and am not looking to make friends. This is not real life. It’s just a guy spouting off about things so don’t get your panties too bunched up about what I have to say. It the end it’s not really all that important.
I shared the site with another cat that is now a Mormon and we had a stable of writers that wrote hard edged political and social commentary. It was fun stuff and we got into all kinds of trouble with lawsuits and hackers and other anti free speech groups that passed themselves off as civil rights groups or morality groups. We had a lot of fun but we started spiraling out of control with the one-upmanship that simply led to hate. My partner became a Mormon and the other guys burnt out on writing and I was left holding the ball. I started to realize that my core group of readers was primarily military, cops, skin heads and KKK types. Shades of gray my friends. Shades of gray.
At this point I decide to switch the format of the Moynihan Institute over to a site focused primarily on health and fitness from the perspective of a regular guy not looking to sell anybody anything and not invested in any methods or modalities. I plan on keeping this up and being as frank and forthright as I have always been but I would like to break free of all the baggage associated with the Moynihan Institute. I will also talk about other issues that strike my fancy. I have got some plans to change things up a bit as well. This has always been a method of amusing myself. I have never cared what anyone thought of what I had to say and am not looking to make friends. This is not real life. It’s just a guy spouting off about things so don’t get your panties too bunched up about what I have to say. It the end it’s not really all that important.
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